Love, Loss and Red Nose Day …

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This weekend just gone I read an article by Rebecca Sparrow about losing a baby and it prompted so many thoughts. How would I feel? What would I do ? How would I cope ? Who would  turn to for help ? Would life always be just a little bit grey ? Would I turn away from people who loved me or let people in ? The questions were endless but the one that stuck with me was, Where do you look when your whole world is turned upside down ?

Rebecca told her story today and it inspired me to find the answer to those questions for myself for my friends and for other women who have suffered that deep and lasting loss. No one can ever fully understand the grief that others feel, we can try but that loss is so personal, so deep and unrelenting that until you find yourself facing down that gun barrel you never know how you will feel.

We all know someone who has suffered,we have all suffered ourselves. We probably all know someone who has suffered the incredible tragedy of losing a new life. But have we really stopped and asked ourselves the questions that need to be asked ?

I think so many of us want to reach out but we don’t know how. Sometimes it’s not what we say but just being there that counts. And sometimes it’s knowing when to step back and give the much-needed space for healing. I sat here this morning watching my daughter play. She is two years old and watching her play and chat away to herself fills me with a joy that is unparalleled.

So then how is the grief of missing those moments ? The tender small snapshots of life. Not the big events but the times where you find yourself smiling at the little jokes they tell or the impromptu kisses. The firsts, the first real cuddle, the first time they smile, the first time they say I love you.

For mothers who lose babies they will never have those moments and for mothers like Rebecca, they have the heartbreak of knowing what they are missing and having to help themselves through their grief and their children.  To explain to older children why they don’t have a little brother or sister on the way or worse why their new baby brother or sister didn’t wake up today. How do you begin to explain that ? How do you find the words ? Where do you even begin ?

Many people, myself included may not realise that the SIDS foundation helps parents who have suffered this unimaginable loss. It is not just for parents who have been affected by Sudden Infant Death Syndrome but for parents who have lost children through stillbirth and miscarriage . These dedicated people have the answers that so often people can’t find. They are the professionals dedicated to helping out those who have suffered the greatest loss. The are the brave people who pioneer research to stop this unthinkable tragedy from happening.

If you don’t know what to say or what to do then check out the SIDS website, ask how you can make a difference. Give generously to this cause that helps aid in the sufferance of so many people. Or give some time. But remember that the best thing you can do is simply to say ….I care about you and im here when your ready !

For any information or fi you want to read Rebecca’s beautiful article I have posted links in the comments below. I hope everyone takes the time to read Rebecca’s story it really is powerful and so very brave !

 

BlondiieC

xox

 

 

 

There is plenty you can do and one simple one is uploading a picture to the red nose day website, for every  picture uploaded up to 15,000 Renault will donate $1 up to $15,000 dollars thats a huge donation for simply taking the time to upload a picture. I have included my pic, I have also made it my profile pic on Twitter and Facebook to help raise awareness of this very worth cause.

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Four Things

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Four names that people call me:

1. Courts

2. Pussy (Classy huh, And this is from a female friend ! lol)

3. Mum mum

4. Pepper

Four jobs I have had or have:
1. Bookshop Sales Assistant

2. Waitress

3. Skating instructor

4. Insurance

Four movies I would watch more than once:
1. Dazed and Confused

2. Centre Stage

3. To Kill A Mockingbird

4. Pride and Prejudice

Four places I have lived :
1. Wynnum

2. Manly

3. Lota

4. Wynnum North ( wow exciting hahaha)

Four places I have been:


1. New York

2. Byron Bay

3. San Francisco

4. Arizona

Four People who e-mail me:
1. Clare

2. Rosana

3. R’ee

4. Elliot

Four of my favourite foods:
1. Lasagne

2. Mexican

3. Potato and Leek soup

4. Cooked Breakfast

Four places I’d rather be right now:
1. Byron Bay ( Tallow Beach)

2. In London with Clare

3. Italy

4. Mexico

Four TV shows that I watch:

1. Sex and the City

2. Sopranos

3. Secret Diary of A Call Girl

4. Entourage

Four People I Love:

1. Pete

2. Chelsea

3. Elliot

4. Parents

Four Books That Changed My Life:

1. The Catcher In The Rye

2. To Kill A Mockingbird

3. In Cold Blood

4. Pride and Prejudice

Four Things Most People Wouldnt Know About Me:

1. I can skate really well, Rollerskate, Rollerblade and Skateboard ( not so hot at Ice Skating tho). I used to teach people to skate for a living and I have even skated with sponsored teams. (and I can skate a half-pipe)

2. I love playing scrabble even though I suck at spelling

3. I have a major obsession with reality TV I simply can’t get enough of it, I almost don’t watch scripted Tv anymore.

4. I have a bit of a fan girl crush on a writer who shall remain nameless as he may read this and then I would die of shame !

Four Genres of Music I Really Love:

1.Glam Metal

2.Rock n Roll

3.Classical

4. Old School Rock N Roll

Four Guilty Pleasures:

1.I love eating Peanut Butter off a spoon.

2.Smoking ( I know its killing me so save the lecture)

3.Getting my nails done, I love it, I do it every two weeks mani and pedi and I can’t live without them

4.WINE ! need I say more ?

Four Things I Passionately Believe: 

1. A woman should never dumb herself down for a man or a job

2. NEVER ever get your boobs out on Facebook, twitter, your blog or any other social networking site, people will just judge you and think you’re a skank and they will probably be right because lets face it, If you had a brain you wouldn’t need to post slutty photos to get attention !

3. A relationship built on lies is doomed to fail no matter what you think.

4. Music can save you in your darkest hours.

OK done babbling now …..

BlondiieC

xox

Easter – Meaningful or obsolete ? You decide !

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Well naturally its the Easter long weekend otherwise why else would I be writing about it. This year my daughter is 22 months old for Easter and as such I am not really doing anything to celebrate the holiday (mean mummy right). I don’t think encouraging a near two-year old to gorge herself on sugar is the wisest idea for me or for her. (It could only end in tears)

But it got me thinking about Easter and the whole mess this holiday has turned into. Every year we make the same complaints, “Christmas has only been over for two days and already the stocks of chocolate bunnies and easter eggs are filling the shelves as far as the eye can see”.”We only just got over Christmas now we have to worry about Easter already? ” Now I’m as much of a chocaholic as anyone else and I will admit I do dance a little jig every time I see Cadbury Cream Eggs back on shelves, but at what point does this extreme push by huge stores get too much? When does the meaning get lost and it all becomes about the chocolate?.

How many kids honestly know why we celebrate Easter ? How many adults for that matter fully grasp the meaning ? When we are readying ourselves for long weekends and holidays and chocolate overload do we stop and think about why it’s happening ? No. Not really.

I mean sure there are those in the community that make a yearly pilgrimage to church and give thanks before drowning in a sea of chocolate and there are among us, the truly devout who see Easter as a time of grief and a time of celebration.

Now I will freely admit I am not in either of those categories. I am the person who sits home, eats chocolate, enjoys the long weekend and thinks nothing of some dude that died over 2000 years ago. Now that’s not to say I don’t believe or I have an issue with people who do. But what gets to me is, If we are all so caught up in Easter and all that it symbolises then why are we eating chocolate eggs ? or chocolate bunnies ? (P.s bunnies don’t lay eggs, just saying).

Why don’t we gorge on chocolate Jesus figurines or giant chocolate crucifixes? I mean come on, if you want to say thanks why are you eating something that represents nothing to do with the reason we are all enjoying a few days off ? Is it crass to consume a chocolate shrine to Jesus ? Would he be offended ? I think not. And yes I mean that but, hear me out because I know all you Christians out there are shaking your heads in disbelief at me.

I don’t think that the old JC would be sitting up there thinking OH MY those heathens are eating my image, ( I mean we drink wine and eat bread to symbolise him don’t we? ) I think if anything he would be sitting up there thinking “WTF you selfish morons, Do I look like a damn bunny? ) Ok so maybe he wouldn’t swear but you get my drift don’t you.

But let’s get it straight. Jesus died some 2000 years ago because none of us could behave ourselves and so he died to save us and to cleanse us of our sins, one of which is greed yes greed interesting huh. He didn’t die so we could have days off and eat, (another sin which is gluttony) no, he died so we would be admitted to heaven, So why in Gods name (sorry I had to pun it wouldn’t have been funny if I didn’t) are we sitting around eating eggs and bunnies ? They are symbols of a Pagan festival that’s right Pagan. Now Christians, they don’t like Pagans in spite of stealing half their religion and changing it to suit themselves but hey that’s another story all together 😉

So why do we eat eggs and bunnies? Why not mini choccie Jesus or Mary’s ? Just think you could get a whole boxed set of the twelve disciples complete with Jesus all in chocolate ! Is it because it would be sacrilege to eat Jesus ? no it’s because we blindly take whatever is thrown at us and we buy into it. I mean when else in the year would you be willing to pay three-times as much for a quarter of the quantity of chocolate just cause it’s a cute shape ?

Now I’m not saying we should ditch Easter and im certainly not saying we should all start saying our hallelujahs if we don’t believe, I’m just saying think about it. Are u buying chocolate because you believe, are you buying it because you like chocolate or are you buying it because stores guilt us into spending our hard-earned cash on pretty foil wrapped treats, because thousands of years ago some guy died and they saw an opportunity to make some dollars out of it ?

I will of course blindly shop for chocolate treats in the shape of eggs and bunnies next year when my daughter knows what Easter is and I can’t get away with ignoring it any more,(I’m not completely heartless) but I hope that at some point she grows up to question, not just the meaning of Easter but of all these consumer driven holidays.I hope that she grows up and takes a minute to decide for herself if she will play in to the hands of corporate giants or if she will like me forsake the Easter shaped chocolate and say no to something that has gotten warped beyond belief.

I know for me I did all the wrong things this year I ate red meat on Good Friday and I wont wake up tomorrow thanking Jesus for saving me from untold burning hell, No of course I wont. I will wake up and eat some chocolate and say thanks to the powers that be for giving me and my boyfriend five days off together but I certainly wont be thinking about JC. Do I feel bad about that ? Nope not really. Do I think that even half of the population of Australia will stop and think about JC tomorrow ? Nope I don’t!  I think most people will do the same as me.

Whatever you’re doing tomorrow I hope that you have some special time with family and friends and I hope that you enjoy your time together, because lets face it whether you believe or not, we should all be thankful that we get to spend some time with our families. That we get to share our abundance of food with each other and that we get to live a life that is for the most part free of pain and suffering and full of love. Because that’s the true meaning for non believers, its a time to share with people you love and enjoy some relaxation.

I hope that everyone has a great day tomorrow. I know for me I may not go to church and give thanks but in my way I’m grateful that I get to share some time with people I love. And so I’ll say JC if your up there…….Thanks, I love chocolate and holidays and long weekends and if there is a Hell I hope im not going there, not for eating chocolate bunnies anyway.

BlondiieC

xox

As an aside I should say here I do not wish to offend anyone or make a joke of peoples beliefs, I just wish people would think!

The Kindness of Strangers…

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I unlike Blanche have never relied on the kindness of strangers, I have always kept to myself and my thoughts were rarely shared, until recently that is 😉 . Recently I discovered this mad, fun, supportive, crazy world that is blogging. Im sure for anyone who reads my blog regularly (the whole two im sure ) well you will know that I have had some previous drama, some of it serious and hurtful some of it trivial, but all of it annoying and hurtful.

Well today I lost it, I went postal, I blew my stack and all those other good euphemisms. I had enough and I did what so many people seem to do on a daily basis. I spoke my mind, I ranted and I raved and it felt good. It felt good to say what I was feeling, to say a big fuck you to all the assholes who will try to bring you down.

I did all that with no intention than to speak my mind, to free the demons. But it would seem I caused quite a stir. I never expected to have people rally in support of what I said, Or reach out but they did. And not friends but strangers, or virtual strangers if you will pardon the very bad pun.

People I know only by a gravatar or a small twitpic, a facebook profile or a blog spot. Many of these people I have spoken to only briefly, some of them are people I look up to, and some of them are people I have come to consider “virtual” friends. No matter what their relationship to me they extended their friendship to say “thanks for saying what you did” or “hey I hope your ok”.

This is not the first time I have experienced this either, on the first of April I blogged about Autism Awareness Day and got another huge response people I didn’t know who took the time to say thank you and share their stories. And it knocked my socks off.

I never believed that people out there would do that, but they do ! So to all the amazing people, strangers, friends, virtual friends and the people I admire…..THANK YOU for being so kind, you made a shy, self doubting, fearful girl feel very special today ! 😉

I guess from now on the message is a little less of the Stanley Kowalski’s of this world with their brash nastiness and a little more of the sweetly naïve Blanche and her relying on the kindness of strangers.

Cheers

BlondiieC

xoxoxox


Ikea….My Love/Hate relationship

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Ikea its a word that brings out so many responses in people. Love , fear, utter dread, exhaustion, excitement and extreme joy. Whatever it is people feel it seems to always be a strong emotion. I have mixed emotions about Ikea myself I swing from fear to excitement.

The fear comes from OMG the money I will spend, simply because I know that in spite of my best efforts I will not, I repeat not, buy the one thing I go there to buy. Oh no I will of course buy at least ten items that I don’t need one item I do need and of course a bag full of small random items that i don’t even remember picking up.

I will leave home with the best intentions to only go in and grab the one thing I am making the mission to get. But upon entering the brightly lit showroom that is my personal crack addiction I go to bits. I go weak at the knees, I start to breathe shallowly, my hart races with all the possibilities. And my pupils dilate. I start to take in all the things that Ikea has on offer.

Furniture and cook wear, rugs and candle holders, curtains, sheets, towels the list is endless. It’s a mecca for shopping for house obsessed people like me. I will admit it here and now I am an Ikea addict. It’s not something I proud of, it’s not something I endorse. But this is a real and serious affliction.

And this is where the problem lies, as much as I fear the trip to Ikea the pilgrimage to mecca as I call it. I love it, I simply cant get enough of it. It’s a shopping emporium cleverly designed to suck you in to the void and not let you out until you have experienced everything it has to offer. This is of course very shrewd business. This store is designed in such a way that you cant help but see how miraculously the whole Ikea story goes together. From bedrooms to lounge rooms to kitchens they have it all. And it’s there waiting for you to buy it. All cleverly laid out in perfect little rooms designed to look like a room in a house so that you the don’t even have to think about how to decorate.

I love it because for me ( a very very house proud person ) it is an affordable and stylish way to completely change the look of any room in your house. Of course admittedly Ikea has its drawbacks, the crowds of people, the floor to ceiling stock, the never-ending maze that is the store itself. But no matter how many the drawbacks, for me the positives far outweigh the negatives.

I went for a trip to Ikea yesterday to get a bookcase, yes one bookcase. Of course I came home with a bookcase, 6 photo frames, 2 vases, 2 storage boxes, 4 storage baskets, flowers, plants, a print, a clock , 6 candles, 4 candle holders…umm I think that’s it ….but there could be more. Now you see what I mean don’t you.

I came home so excited to re decorate my bedroom from floor to ceiling. I now owned enough storage solutions to arrange every office in Parliament House. Bear in mind I was only trying to organise a bedroom for two people. But no the madness took over. I couldn’t stop I had to have it all. And yes when I got home of course I didn’t need all of it no, not even half really.

Anyway I came home and got my very useful handyman Man to put it all together ( I don’t do the heavy lifting ) and so began my most favourite part of the whole experience the decorating ( I think I was a decorator in a past life ) I get a weird thrill from seeing organisation coming together. I get the same thrill from cleaning ( I know I’m sick I have a problem lol )

My bedroom was transformed before my eyes, everything in its place all shiny and new and exciting. Was that enough to feed the best ? to satiate the hunger ? ….Of course not ! I started to see what could be changed, improved, re organised. I wanted to go back the very next day to get more. A new bed, a new chest of drawers, a bedside table to match, the list was endless.

I have started to circle all the items in the catalogue that will of course make my life complete. My brain is craving the next Ikea hit.

All in all it was a really successful trip, I got what I needed and yes some, ok lots of things I didn’t need. But my bedroom looks amazing, my life is more organised. Did I need to spend the buckets of money that I did? No, did I enjoy it ? ohh yes !

So love it or hate it you have to admit that Ikea for its few faults is a great place to shop. Even if you do spend money you shouldn’t be spending. Yesterdays trip did nothing to change my feelings about Ikea it only reinforced my obsessive love for the mecca of household items.

So thank you Ikea you have transformed my bedroom to the oasis I wanted it to be. And don’t fret Ill be back soon to go crazy again. Once an Ikea addict always an addict.

 

BlondiieC

xox

 

http://www.ikea.com/au/en/

 

 


Oh What A Night ! – my 30th b’day shenanigans

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Well Saturday night was the scene of the crime …ahem I mean party, and party we did !. I had all the usual worries about hosting a party for my b’day, I mean its kinda conceited when you think  about it! But I am never one to let fear stand in the way of a good excuse to get boozey. So I did it, I chose a venue and sent out invites all while nervously waiting on rsvp’s to see who would come. And WOW was I impressed with the effort!

I thought I would organise something small, a little low-key event to herald in the onset of my thirties, nothing too big and flashy ( it might draw too much attention to the fact i’m getting old) And to be honest I wasn’t ready to spend $70 on a cab home. So I organised something local, a few quiet drinks at a local Bar/Restaurant with a few of my closest friends. Sounds great right ?

Well of course I don’t do anything small and it turned into a madcap night of mayhem and hijinks. We arrived to a beautiful spot overlooking the Harbour and took over the place. Approximately thirty of my nearest and dearest came along to celebrate my epic milestone.

Friends came from near and very far, I had friends visiting from Singapore and friends who were local. Everyone who came was someone who has formed a part of the life that had brought me to this point. My dearest and oldest friends came all the way from Singapore, We have been friends since childhood and I can’t imagine not sharing this milestone with them.

My bestie Miss Nat was there to share in all the mayhem (we share the same B’day ) and we partied the night away like so many years gone by. We never miss being together for our B’days and this year was no exception.

The Champagne flowed and so did the cocktails. There was more drinks that anyone needed and a lot of hilarity too. What can I say we partied until they kicked us out, and it was brilliant. B’days are always strange you never know how the night will turn out, you worry about how you will look, what you will wear, will you embarrass yourself etc.

I of course went through all these thoughts and more but on the night it was amazing. My party this year exceeded all my expectations!  I got to share it with the most incredible group of people. People I love and who have shaped the person I am today. Friends that have been there through thick and thin, Family who are always there to share ion your special moments. And people I have met only recently.

I felt honoured to be surrounded by such an amazing group of people and to be so spoilt by their outpouring of love. Not to mention the gifts! It was a night to remember and one that I will treasure for many years to come.

I would love to sit here and write in detail about all the funny things that happened and all the laughs we had but you really had to be there. So in short ill say this….It was the best b’day I’ve ever had and I cant wait to do it all again next year.

So a big thanks to the following people who made me feel like the luckiest woman alive on my 30th…..

Tanya, Russell, Elliot, Kelly, Natalie, Renee, Linsey, Nat T, Michael, Cameron, Tina, Katrina, Pete, Alyce, Russell P, Chris, Matt, Kirsten, Neek, Kat, and Daniel.

And a HUGE thank you to Ben and Rachel for coming all that way and sharing in my special day. I love you guys so much, you are family before you are friends. I cant wait to party in your part of the world. Singapore …. BRING IT ON ! …..Thank you for the years of friendship, the advice, the shoulders to cry on, the love and support and the privilege of calling you my friends. Rach we are sister wives forever, I just hope Ben realises what he is taking on 😉  Oh and Ben, we are so doing a girls trip to your house in the snow, Tell Rach I expect wine and lots of it! LOVE YAS XOXOXO

Nat, you are my best friend, I have known you now for 12 years and for each year we get a little closer and a bit more crazy 😉 I wouldn’t have it any other way. You are my partner in crime and I love you dearly. I still remember the first time we found out we shared a b’day ! I wouldn’t share it with anyone but you ! Love you like crazy you make my world a better place. (thank you for the outrageously amazing gift , you spoil me way too much)

Lins, Thank you for being a part of my life these past years, I have had so much fun packed into the time we have known each other, You are my drinking buddy, my shoulder to cry on and my Mummy friend who doesn’t judge. I love the memories we have and I cant wait to watch our daughters grow and make their own together ! (thank you for the beautiful present, I know ill feel like a princess when I wear it all 😉 )

I want to personally thank you all and leave you all messages that express what you mean to me but I would have cramps in my hands before I got halfway down the list! Thanks so much for the memories we have made and the memories we will make, I love being a part of your world and I hope you love being a part of mine too.

And of course I cant forget to thank the man that makes my life possible, Pete you make me laugh when I feel like crying, you love me when no one else would, you take care of me without complaining, you are an amazing father to our little girl, you are the most incredible person in my life and without you my life would be pointless. Thank you for giving me the best gift anyone could, our little girl is the other half of my heart and between the two of you my heart is a whole. I love you more than words can say. 

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Thank you coming to celebrate with me and making me feel like the most spoilt woman in the world. I am blessed to call you my friends, I don’t know where I would be without you !

Love you all

C    xoxoxoxo

 

These pics are but a mere sample of the thousands that were taken I just don’t feel like uploading more lol 😉

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want too…..

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Well it’s finally here my 30th Bday ! And i have to admit that its hasn’t been half as bad as I expected it to be. Nearly everyone I know ranted and grumbled in the lead up to their 3oth bday’s and I have to admit I did have the feeling come over me a few times of oh no I’m getting old or oh my twenties are over boo hoo, but all in all its been a bit of a nothing feeling.

I know this is the point in your life where you should be ready to re-evaluate where your going, what your goals are, where do you want to be in ten years time etc. But for me I have to say this is the first time in so long that I have felt confident in where my life is heading. (yes this does sound smug and self-assured and so annoyingly banal but its the truth)

I feel confident in my choices and I am enjoying life so much more at the moment than I have in years gone by. The past few years have been a roller coaster ride of emotions. I have had so many things thrown at me that I never expected. I was always staunch in my stance that I would never have children, well yeh that didn’t work did it ? My daughter is somewhat of a miracle, and not just in that soppy way most parents say about their children. I was not supposed to be able to have children although I did not know this at the time that I actually fell pregnant.

I was having a great time partying and being young and had no cares in the world I had met the man of my drams and life was going along just as it should then one day I found out rather shockingly that I was 9 weeks pregnant, This wasn’t all bad news though. We took it on board and ran with it and ready for the day she would arrive so happily. And of course some few short months later our little girl was born.

It was only after having her that I found out that she was in fact a miracle of sorts. I was diagnosed with a Thyroid dysfunction, it was never picked up during my pregnancy as the thyroid condition went into remission for the time that I was pregnant. Upon finding out that it had gone untreated for such a long time it turned out that I should not have been able to fall pregnant, also add to that being on the pill and you can understand the miracle thing !

She has been the best thing ever to happen to me, I had an illness that had plagued me for so long diagnosed and finally some relief was in sight. She makes me happy everyday, i find myself laughing at things that are so trivial or small, but to know that I was never really supposed to have her has made me eternally grateful for the moments we get to share no matter how small they may seem.

I have struggled so much being sick and trying to raise a baby but I don’t give up easily and those who know me well will say once I get onto an idea im like a pitbull I do not let go ! I was determined not to be beaten and I have worked tirelessly to get better.

Through all of that, the opportunity arose for me to take on some part-time work. Honestly it was the worst time, my daughter was little, I was due to have an operation and my health wasn’t good. But being me and seeing an opportunity that was too good to pass up I forged ahead and applied. And for some reason ( I assume madness or desperation) They decided to give me a go, and I havent looked back since.

It was the perfect thing, even though I was tired and didn’t feel well at all I knew if I could just get through it I would never regret pushing myself. I have now been working at that job for almost 6 months and I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world. I get to do a job that I love. I sell books, something that I can’t imagine life without. And not just that, it was the reminder I needed that I am not old and sick I am young and vital and I don’t have to stay home and be sick.

I have fought on and banged on doors trying to get answers and finally recently I was diagnosed with an Auto Immune disease, It is my thyroid but it is Hashimoto’s which is far more serious than my original diagnosis. But at least I finally have some answers and my medication is now tailored correctly and for the first time since my daughter was born I feel like a young person who can take on the world !

I go to work two to three days a week, I am a stay at home mother the rest of the time, I feel like I have the best of both worlds, Thats not all though, I have a family that love and support me, amazing friends and a man who has taken care or me tirelessly and without complaint since day one. He is my rock and I don’t know where I would be without him.

So why do I feel so lucky and so carefree about being 30 ? because I feel like ive seen the bad times, I have felt old and tired and sick and now I know that 30 isnt old its just getting started. I have a little girl that I never should have had. A little girl that makes even the hardest days bearable just by being there. I have a man who loves me and takes care of me, a man who supports me in all my endeavours, a man who never once has faltered or complained that it was too hard. I have family that have stood by and taken over when I was so sick I couldn’t go on. I have friends who love and support me and take care of me too.

And beyond all that ? I have a job that has finally given me the opportunity to do what I love best. To write creatively, to channel my passion for books into something that not only makes me money but helps me feel as though im making a difference.

I want for nothing, material or otherwise. I have more love than I could ever ask for, great friends a beautiful home and everything I could ever possibly need.

So 30 meh whatever, I have fun, I love my job and my family and friends. And better still ? I have my health (well almost) So while I could sit around having a pity party what would be the point ? I’m not starving,my child is healthy,my family is together and we love each other. How many people want for any of those things ? People the world over would give their life for their child to be healthy or to have a meal to eat.

While I know that as a woman my vanity should be taking over and I should be moaning that im getting old and oh god my face is going to be wrinkled soon blah blah blah I just cant bring myself to think that any of that really matters.

When u see the hard sides of life you learn to love the little moments that make you smile. If I could say I had little moments to smile about very day I would be happy but as it stands now ? I have moments that make me happy everyday multiple times a day. I’m smiling more and thankful for everything I have not worrying about what could be or what might happen.

Life’s too short to spend it worrying, so throw off the fears of age and wrinkles and what the number 30 means, and just live life! get amongst it smile, dance, laugh, enjoy the moments where your worries are few because in time there will be plenty of time for worry and stress but it’s not now!

So what does all this mean ? Well it means simply this ….

I am a woman who has a pretty good life, I want for nothing and I know that lifes trials are still there lurking in the distance but they are not here now and ill worry about them later !

So HELLO 30 ! bring it on ! Life is good and a number isn’t going to change that ! 😉

BlondiieC

xoxox

 

 

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