This weekend just gone I read an article by Rebecca Sparrow about losing a baby and it prompted so many thoughts. How would I feel? What would I do ? How would I cope ? Who would  turn to for help ? Would life always be just a little bit grey ? Would I turn away from people who loved me or let people in ? The questions were endless but the one that stuck with me was, Where do you look when your whole world is turned upside down ?

Rebecca told her story today and it inspired me to find the answer to those questions for myself for my friends and for other women who have suffered that deep and lasting loss. No one can ever fully understand the grief that others feel, we can try but that loss is so personal, so deep and unrelenting that until you find yourself facing down that gun barrel you never know how you will feel.

We all know someone who has suffered,we have all suffered ourselves. We probably all know someone who has suffered the incredible tragedy of losing a new life. But have we really stopped and asked ourselves the questions that need to be asked ?

I think so many of us want to reach out but we don’t know how. Sometimes it’s not what we say but just being there that counts. And sometimes it’s knowing when to step back and give the much-needed space for healing. I sat here this morning watching my daughter play. She is two years old and watching her play and chat away to herself fills me with a joy that is unparalleled.

So then how is the grief of missing those moments ? The tender small snapshots of life. Not the big events but the times where you find yourself smiling at the little jokes they tell or the impromptu kisses. The firsts, the first real cuddle, the first time they smile, the first time they say I love you.

For mothers who lose babies they will never have those moments and for mothers like Rebecca, they have the heartbreak of knowing what they are missing and having to help themselves through their grief and their children.  To explain to older children why they don’t have a little brother or sister on the way or worse why their new baby brother or sister didn’t wake up today. How do you begin to explain that ? How do you find the words ? Where do you even begin ?

Many people, myself included may not realise that the SIDS foundation helps parents who have suffered this unimaginable loss. It is not just for parents who have been affected by Sudden Infant Death Syndrome but for parents who have lost children through stillbirth and miscarriage . These dedicated people have the answers that so often people can’t find. They are the professionals dedicated to helping out those who have suffered the greatest loss. The are the brave people who pioneer research to stop this unthinkable tragedy from happening.

If you don’t know what to say or what to do then check out the SIDS website, ask how you can make a difference. Give generously to this cause that helps aid in the sufferance of so many people. Or give some time. But remember that the best thing you can do is simply to say ….I care about you and im here when your ready !

For any information or fi you want to read Rebecca’s beautiful article I have posted links in the comments below. I hope everyone takes the time to read Rebecca’s story it really is powerful and so very brave !

 

BlondiieC

xox

 

 

 

There is plenty you can do and one simple one is uploading a picture to the red nose day website, for every  picture uploaded up to 15,000 Renault will donate $1 up to $15,000 dollars thats a huge donation for simply taking the time to upload a picture. I have included my pic, I have also made it my profile pic on Twitter and Facebook to help raise awareness of this very worth cause.

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