Kings Of Mykonos – Movie Review

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Well Nick Giannopolous is back with his wog boy humour but the second time around unfortunately the laughs fall flat. The first offering The Wog Boy was original enough at the time of its release to pull a few belly laughs and a good giggle but sadly as is usually the case with sequels The Kings Of Mykonos Wog Boy 2 is a sad imitation of what was somewhat funny ten years ago.

The Kings Of Mykonos sees Nick Giannopoulos and Vince Colosimo reprising their roles as the quintessential “wog boys” of Melbourne but this time they are off to Mykonos.The story begins with Steve (Giannopoulos) getting a phone call from a long-lost family member in Greece. He has been left a beach front property in Mykonos all he has to do is travel there to claim it.

Cue the bad greek jokes, poor attempts at cultural humour and general crappiness. If The Wog Boy was a 2 star movie this is definitely pushing its luck to get 1 star. Id love to give you a better outline of the story but I feel asleep watching it. Yes it really is that bad. Nick Giannopoulos was obviously hoping to rely on the humour that won him fans with the first movie, with embarrassing dance scenes reminiscent of Saturday Night Fever but without the rhythm or the great sound track.

This movie bounces from one bad joke to another all while desperately flailing around like a fish out of water. Sadly that is the premise of the movie but it just doesn’t work. Nick Giannopoulos has had a shocker with this one and its a shame that the first movie which was ok will now be thrown into the same category.

1 star.

Easy A – Movie Review

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How bad would it be if I said that this movie was a B grade poor imitation of 10 Things I hate About You? Bear in mind I didn’t care much for that movie either. Kinda mean right ? Well too bad, what a shocker. The funniest parts of course all appear in the trailer, and the loose and I do mean loose adaptation and abuse of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter is an absolute abomination.

I know that after so many years Hollywood is running out of story lines so they have to dredge up and bastardise the classics to sell tickets but for crying out loud If I am forced to sit through another nauseating, choker of a performance im going to scream.  The sad part of this is that the acting wasnt that bad. The script however was atrocious.

It would seem all you need to do these days to write a successful teen movie is steal some classic writing add in a few references to successful eighties teen flicks and there you go you have a movie that will no doubt yield big rewards at the box office. I really hoped this movie would surprise me with witty one liners and produce more than a wan smile and a stifled giggle but nope true to form this was another piece of drivel served up to drag in some money on school holidays.

2 stars and im being generous !

A Discovery Of Witches – Review


It begins with absence and desire

It begins with blood and fear

It begins with a discovery of witches…..

When historian Diana Bishop opens a bewitched alchemical manuscript in Oxford’s Bodleian Library it represents an unwelcome intrusion of magic into her carefully ordinary life. Though descended from a long line of witches, she is determined to remain untouched by her family’s legacy. She banishes the manuscript to the stacks, but Diana finds it impossible to hold the world of magic at bay any longer.For witches are not the only otherworldly creatures living alongside humans.

 There are also creative, destructive daemons and long-lived vampires who become interested in the witch’s discovery. They believe that the manuscript contains important clues about the past and the future, and want to know how Diana Bishop has been able to get her hands on the elusive volume.

 Chief among the creatures who gather around Diana is vampire Matthew Clairmont, a geneticist with a passion for Darwin. Together, Diana and Matthew embark on a journey to understand the manuscript’s secrets. But the relationship that develops between the ages-old vampire and the spellbound witch threatens to unravel the fragile peace that has long existed between creatures and humans—and will certainly transform Diana’s world as well.

A Discovery of Witches has been referred to as Twilight for adults. While I can see why this assumption is made it leaves me questioning, did the people who make that reference actually read the book? This book is so much more than just a romance between two people who shouldn’t be together.

A Discovery of Witches blends romance, history, genetics, alchemy, ancient books, magic, wine, supernatural race relations, evolution and so much more. This is a fascinating book that has everything a good novel needs to grab a reader’s attention and hold it.

Diana is a complex character that at first I found frustrating, she refuses to use her powers (why would you?) but towards the end of the book the reason behind her stubbornness is revealed and my frustration turned to understanding. She is the perfect female protagonist, strong-willed, stubborn and headstrong she leaves the whiny Bella Swan’s in her wake. This is a powerful female who should not be underestimated.

Then we have Matthew Clairmont the dark, brooding and at times moody vampire that looks set to steal Diana’s heart and turn the world of supernatural creatures upside down. Matthew is rich, handsome and best of all an educated articulate MAN yes I say man in capitals because it such a nice departure from all the teen characters we have had to endure for so long.

Fate brings Diana and Matthew together but the Congregation threatens to drive them apart. There are rules you see and the Congregation is there to uphold them. Diana and Matthew’s love could destroy everything.

Diana must fight to learn her magic and practice her once dormant skills as a witch and Matthew must fight to save the woman he loves. Packed full of action and romance A Discovery of Witches will take the reader on a magical journey to France, England and beyond. Let yourself get swept up in Diana and Matthew’s story you won’t be disappointed.

A Discovery Of Witches is book one in the All Souls trilogy By Deborah Harkness, book two is due for release in 2012.

A romp through magical academia’ Guardian

‘Romantic, erudite, and suspenseful’ O, The Oprah Magazine

‘A bubbling cauldron of illicit desire…all the ingredients for an assured saga that blends romance with fantasy’ Daily Mail

Day 11 – 30 Day Book Challenge

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Day 10 is a book by your favourite writer once again I say only 1 ?? goddamnit how can I only pick one ? This one is fresh in my mind cos I just read it so im going to say A Discovery Of Witches by Deborah Harkness she is amazing and I cannot wait for the next book to be released next year !

Song 17 – 30 Day Song Challenge

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Day 17 is a song you hear often on the radio, I don’t really listen to the radio but this is a song that got played to death on the radio …. ( not that im complaining I love this song)

Stolen Innocence – Review

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Stolen Innocence is the story of Elissa Wall, it is a story of courage, hope and devotion. Elissa’s story is not uncommon nor is it a story that you haven’t heard before, but that is what makes it so startlingly tragic. Elissa tells the story of her life in a polygamist sect run by Warren Jeffs the self appointed leader or prophet of the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints.

Elissa knows no other life, she was born into the FLDS and she has been raised under the strict religious doctrine that all members must live by. She is taught never to dream more for herself than a life inside the compound and to get married and be a faithful wife.

But like anyone Elissa dares to dream that life has more in store for her and so she sets her course, one that will take her far away from her family and the only life she has ever known.

Set to be married to a man much older than her at only fourteen years old Elissa knows she must find a way to escape this life and make her way in to the world. As Elissa is forced to conform to her life, her mind is screaming for freedom but what will she have to give up in order to break free?

Heartbreaking, terrifying and completely gripping Elissa’s story will have you cheering for her as she plots her escape and biting you nails waiting to know if she makes it out safely. This is a fantastic story of courage and a message of hope to all the women still trapped inside the FLDS compound.

As tragic as it is there is a silver lining to the dark clouds surrounding the early years of Elissa’s life and her attempts at love and ultimate happiness will leave everyone who reads this book with a belief that everyone has hope, no matter how desperate things may seem.

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My Random Encounter With the Penis (Why Does This Always Happen To Me?)

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Well that’s it people the day has dawned and I can officially say I have seen it all. Yes I know im only 30 and its kinda early to make that call but you don’t know what I saw today ! I like most have had my fair share of random arse sightings, flashes of naked boob even a little snatch but hey who hasn’t ? anyone over the age of 18 who hasn’t been to a strip club may not have but I know the rest of you can say aside from and outside of your general sexual encounters you have seen or witnessed random acts of nudity.

From being mooned at schoolies week or seeing a random boob on the beach we have all experienced that moment where the realisation dawns that you are in the presence of naked parts and it’s not bloody intentional. Now for some of you that may have been a happy or pleasantly surprising experience. I will admit that a naked flash of random arse on the beach of some hot life saver is not something I am offended by, I will even go so far as to admit that in my younger days pre baby and life partner I even enjoyed a little random nudity.

But those times have passed !!! I am now a happily settled Mother and Spouse I do not spend my weekends cruising the beaches or getting blind in nightclubs in the hope of a little random perving. Today as I innocently made my way home from work I stupidly thought I would drop in to my local service station and get some milk…….Ohhhhh how stupid I was! It was not my mission the get milk that yielded penis oh no-no. After I payed for my milk and hopped back into my car and drove to the exit of aforementioned servo I was visually assaulted and I do mean assaulted by a random flash of naked man. Penis and all.

There I was going about my day just trying to make it home without any trauma and BAM penis ! A local man who lives near me apparently decided to do a nudie run out into his front yard god knows what for but there it was in all its hideousness his penis. Small shrivelled and obviously suffering a little from the cold Brisbane weather.

The worst part of it was that not only was I affronted by the penis, but then he saw that he was busted and took off at warp speed, cock and balls flying and ran up his front steps only to assault my vision with a lovely view of his hairy ass crack. Ohh what joy. A fat, jowly, hirsute man running naked right in my line of sight.

Just when I thought it was safe to wear my new and very fabulous glasses I am confronted by that ! So not only did I see the penis but I saw it in all its glory. Up close and way too personal. I foresee a need for some intensive therapy in my not too distant future. I may need sedatives just to continue writing this blog post. It’s not every day that you see a penis and it’s not every day that you see one running free in the front yard of a neighbours home.

It’s quite funny really and im not sure whether to thank my Boss or to mercilessly berate her but today of all days, she was late to take over for me in the shop. Thus making me perfectly timed to witness the horror of seeing my neighbour running out into his front yard stark naked. Why me you may be asking yourself but the better observation would be why always you ? Yes that’s right people this is not my first traumatising encounter with random acts of nudity. I am a shit magnet for freaks and weirdos. I seem to attract them, lucky me huh !

I have been mooned at the coast, and witnessed far too many shrivelled and shrunken penises on the beach to count. I don’t know why I seem to attract these people but if like me you too are a shit magnet I have decided to start a support group for sufferers of random nudity.

Yes that’s right I am, I think its time that we who have suffered that trauma and indignity of being assaulted with the image of unwanted penis to band together and share our suffering. I shall call this support group. P.A.I.N which stands for People Against Indecent Nudity. Its time to stand up and say NO to random nudie runs to the front yard, NO to people who think that its ok to flash unsuspecting people in car parks (I’ve suffered that too) No to old men undressing on the beach and NO to people showering nude on public beaches. Australia does not want to see your shrivelled bits and neither do I !

Cover up people for the sake of humanity and the future of the human race. The world needs reproduction to continue and if you continue to flash you ugly naked parts you threaten that very future! No one wants to see your wrinkled hairy arse ! So for the future of the country and for the sake of my eyes put some pants on I beg you ! Its only kind.